By Robert Deluty, Psychology/UMBC


a college freshman

assuming the thesaurus

is now extinct


pre-interview . . .

the TA asking his profs

to pray for him


telling bored students

if they want entertainment,

visit Vegas

telling barred students,

they’re too late for today’s class,

too soon for next week’s


the prof explaining

why polka dots, plaids, and stripes

do go together


New Year’s Eve . . .

a college grad resolving

not to look for work

alone on Christmas,

the old scholar surrounded

by papers he wrote


the prof informing

a math grad student it’s not

pronounced Des-kar-tez

the dean informing

a young physics prof it’s not

pronounced noo-kyu-lur
a college coach

noting he deeply regrets

biting his fullback
ESL student

asking if it’s all right

to say I amn’t

ESL student

inquiring which is better:

You is or You’s


two Rice profs welling

with tears as they discuss

Charlotte’s Web

three Yale profs roaring

with laughter as they discuss

Foghorn Leghorn


Psych of Humor class . . .

seventeen students sitting

stone-faced, unamused


college lecturer

brooding that his undergrads

drive much nicer cars


an A student

wishing her exam’s proctor

would stop snoring

a D student

wishing his exam’s proctor

would keep snoring

pondering why

their prof said Good morning

at 6:00 p.m.
first day of grad school . . .

her assigned adviser states

I do not give praise


to his student it’s not



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